Sir Hammerlock/Quotes
Borderlands 2 Reminder *"Salutations, Vault Hunter! I've a job for you -- meet me in Sanctuary, and we shall get down to business!" New mission available *"Hello, mercenary person! I have money, and a problem." *"Greetings! Do you feel you have too many bullets but not enough money?" *"Hello! Things need to be shot, and by jove, you're the one to shoot them!" No new missions available *"Regrettably, I cannot hire you to exterminate things. Perhaps later." *"No new work at the moment, I'm afraid." *"I'm sorry. No jobs for you right now." During an active mission *"So, how goes the gunsmanship?" *"Ah! Still working on that little favor of mine, I presume?" *"Are you still working on that job I gave you? Yes, no?" Mission turn in *"Ah, I knew my faith was not misplaced!" *"Please, tell me of your success!" *"Finished the job, have you? Wonderful." While idle *"I'm sorry. Should I pay you up front? Not terribly well-versed in mercenary relations, I'm afraid." *"I see you're admiring one of my many scars! Yes, I've seen my fair share of danger -- the odd skag ambush here, a stalker mauling there. Really gives one an appreciation for the creatures of this planet. And a hateful desire to wipe them all out." *"You need not hesitate, friend: I assure you, you will be fully credited in the dedication page of my almanac once it is published. To... your name, it will say, without whom this book would not be as incredibly well-written and popular as it is, and whose refusal of any and all subsequent royalties for their part in the book's production was very much appreciated. It'll be a very long page." *"Your continued efforts against Handsome Jack are an inspiration! Had I still the constitution for it, I'd be right alongside you on the battlefield." *"I'm still trying to decide on cover art for my almanac. I'm torn between a oil painted image of myself, leaping over a bullymong with a rifle in one hand and a book in the other, or the same image, except the bullymong is also exploding. Decisions, decisions." *"I remember when my father first brought me to Pandora. I was six years old, and had used colorful language in polite company. Father thought it proper to abandon me here for a month to teach me the error of my ways. It was rough going at first, but after I throttled my twentieth skag into submission, I grew to enjoy the place." *"How are things, anyway? Still fighting the good fight, as it were?" *"I must say, you Vault Hunters are of considerable interest of me. I shall have to write a book on you one day. Hunting the Vault Hunters I shall call it, by Sir Hammerlock. And beneath that will be an image of you and I high-fiving over Handsome Jack's corpse. It'll be lovely." *"Are you admiring my hat? If not, you should be." *"Indecision, ho!" Unrelated mumblings *"I say!" *"Quite interesting, that." *"What's all this, then?" *"What rubbish." *"Ha-HA!" *"There are an awful lot of bosoms around here." *"This may be the most raucous public house I've ever been to." *"What on earth is that smell? Anyone -- anyone smell that? No? Just me. Right." *"Excuse me, madam! You, with the makeup -- could I have some lager, please? Completely ignored. Wonderful." *"Is that Moxxi woman staring at me again? Fancies me, I fear. Poor girl's barking up the wrong tree." Radio commercials *"Sir Hammerlock speaking! Hunter. Gentleman. Grower of fine mustaches. I've an offer for you -- if you buy my ten-volume almanac, which details the various deadly creatures of Pandora, you'll live longer. Simple, eh? No rush, of course -- I'm still doing research for the book and thus it won't come out for another few months, but it's never too early to start word of mouth, I say!" *"Tired of being partially devoured by skags? Sick of not knowing how to stop a rampaging stalker in its tracks? Then you need to pre-order The Beasts of Pandora, by Sir Hammerlock. (That's me!) Inside my book, you'll learn how to extricate yourself from any sticky situation, regardless of what flora or fauna is responsible for said stickiness. Remember, that's The Beasts of Pandora, by Sir Hammerlock! If you don't buy it, you'll die!" *"A hypothetical scenario for all you adventurers out there. A stalker has you cornered, and unarmed. What do you do? Now, if you'd pre-ordered a copy of my almanac, The Beasts of Pandora, you'd know to stab the stalker through the soft underside of its skull. Alternately, you could use the book's considerable weight to physically stun the stalker before making good your escape. It's a very versatile tome, you see. The Beasts of Pandora, by Sir Hammerlock -- available for pre-order now!" *"Hi ho, children! Sir Hammerlock here, just reminding you of the incredible pre-order bonuses I'm offering for my almanac, The Beasts of Pandora. If you pre-order now, I'll throw in a limited edition making of pamphlet, which mainly consists of photographs of me, looking incredibly bored at my writing desk. But that's not all -- I'm also offering an exclusive cover for the book, which is slightly different from the regular cover in that it is inscribed with the words, I pre-ordered this book before it came out and am therefore demonstrably more wealthy than you in large, neon-colored letters. Order now!" *"Do you live on Pandora? Do you love danger? Are you capable of reading? If you answered yes to two of the three preceding questions, then you need to pre-order The Beasts of Pandora by Sir Hammerlock. It's chock-full of vital information on the various deadly creatures of Pandora, and if you're not interested in, say, words, you can always stare at the hellishly gory pictures I've sprinkled throughout the almanac. Pre-order now!" Sir Hammerlock's Big Game Hunt New mission available *"I've tracked down a new beast for you!" *"Up for another hunt?" *"I've found a new quarry! As in prey, not as in, mineral excavation." No new missions available *"Nothing for you at the moment, I'm afraid." *"I may have something for you later." *"I'm out of quarries at the moment. Apologies!" During an active mission *"Still on the hunt, are you?" *"How goes the hunt?" *"Doing well, I hope?" While idle *"Everything... everything all right?" *"Ahem-hem." *"Should we be talking about something right now? Sports, perhaps? Particular social or racial groups we're mildly uncomfortable around? I'm rather new to this bonding exercise, as it were." Unrelated mumblings *"Marvelous. Simply marvelous." *"Mmmm, smell that fresh air -- makes one want to shoot things in the face multiple times, eh?" *"So nice to get away from the hustle and bustle of Sanctuary for a little while." *"(relaxed sigh)" *"Oh, that's awful." Commander Lilith & the Fight for Sanctuary While idle *"Since escaping from that gas-filled cavern, I've caught up on all your escapades and I must say I am quite impressed! You sure gave that Hector fellow a what-for! Though it is regrettable that you destroyed Pandora's last remaining tree." *"I believe I've spent quite long enough adventuring on Pandora. It's time to set sail across the stars and seek out new thrills, capers, and larks." *"Perhaps I'll go on safari in the lush jungles of Eden-6. I've heard rumblings of terrifying lizard creatures as big as a tank! Ah, now wouldn't that be a fascinating journey!" *"I've always wanted to see Junpai-7. It's a planet of some renown among aquatic hunters. Hideous monsters lurk in the deep, watching, waiting to strike... What fun!" Borderlands 3 *"Ah, yes! Conversation! Delightful. *"Wainwright and I do make a quite the couple. He's a little bit country, while I myself am a little bit Digby Vermouth's 9th concerto in D-minor." *"I just finished and excellent ECHOnet series. Good show, Vault Hunter!" *"Vault Hunter, I'm so glad you're here! Because now I can challenge you to a freestyle rap battle! En garde!" *"Never a dull moment, eh? Ahem, yes. Sorry about that." *"Imprisonment changes a man, Vault Hunter. I have become quiet, reserved, introspective. I may never again regale you with gripping tales of adventure and intrigue. Gone are the days of my long-winded yarns. I am an island unto myself, never to be reached, no matter how hard you may try. I appreciate your understanding as I struggle to navigate this new, reclusive persona that has been trusted upon me. Let us speak no more about it. Starting... now!" *"My sister wasn't always like this, Vault Hunter. She used to be shorter." *"I'm no stranger to torture, Vault Hunter. And the warden you dispatched was nothing compared to the time I was held captive by a throng of women engaged in a bachelorette party outside of Liar's Berg. They were never violent, but the things they did to me... just gruesome." *"I owe you my life, Vault Hunter--and a Hammerlock always pays his debts. Would you accept a post-dated check? I'm waiting on a settlement, you see." *"I shudder to think what may have befallen me had you not arrived when you did, Vault Hunter. You have my gratitude." *"I fear my rescue cost you valuable time, Vault Hunter. If there's anything I can do to assist, please don't hesitate to ask." *"I cannot thank you enough for my freedom, Vault Hunter. No living thing deserves to be held in a cage. Stuffed and mounted in a menacing stance in the corner of an oak-paneled study, now that's another story." *"For a moment, I thought my head was destined to be displayed above some bandit's mantle between a pornographic magazine and... well, another pornographic magazine, most likely." *"Everyone gets the blues now and again. But as a man of culture and dignity, I only get the indigos!" *"Thank you for reuniting me with my dear Winny, Vault Hunter. My separation from him was worse than any electric nipple clamp that interrogator could have applied." *"Godspeed!" *"Aloha! But the "goodbye" kind, of course." *"Ta ta! Oh, dear me, no. I don't believe I'll be saying that again." *"Fare thee well, Vault Hunter." *"So we meet again!" *"Have fun surging o'er the battlements!" Category:Transcripts